I am Barbara, that shameless woman who is always fascinated to listen and marvel about what God has done in the lives of others. My passion for non-fiction books is second to writing and listening to a good story. The truth remains, I have yet to hear a life story which did not involve a few unforseen tragedies. In 1951 my mother (
an immigrant from Germany) gave birth to her final child. Little Barbie was almost born in the back of a police car in Modesto, California. My sister Mary and I are only 10 months apart an our older brother Ben was our childhood hero. For my first three years we lived on a chicken ranch, then we moved briefly to San Francisco, and ended up in Stockton where I graduated from Amos Alonzo Stagg Senior High School in 1969. I have been a gypsy when it comes to moving about the planet. I married my high school sweetheart in 1970 and our only son Jason was born in 1971. After three years of a rocky marriage, a divorce was filed and my son and I moved to Sacramento. Looking back, I lived on the run...in Santa Cruz, Diamond Bar, Manteca, Humble and Corpus Christi, Tx, New Iberia, Louisiana, Galt and I retired in Mexico. My lifelong personal quest to get to know Jesus more deeply, more closely, more intimately, is now possible, as I can "be still" at Lakeside.
Praise God, for all things! As I reflect back I recognize the steady holy presence of God. Ever present, always guiding, loving, protecting while teaching me His great ways. In 2019 my understanding blossomed more fully! In January of 2019 a group of 20 wildly diverse women began meeting up for the first ever BSF at a local church in Riberas! It was time to read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and what the Holy Spirit revealed was captured in a book entitled Behind the Curtain. Born and raised Catholic, church was in Latin. At seven years of age, the Spirit led me to sit in the back of a few area churches, alone, to see if God loved the Methodists, Protestants, or Pentecostals. My full testimony is on a link below, but the short version is that God confirmed that He loves all seekers of the Truth. Since moving to Lakeside in 2014, I found it somewhat difficult to connect with people at a soul level, even in the various churches I have attended. We have all boldly moved to a foreign land and we have all left behind close relations. ❤ As women of the living Word, we fully trust that God will replenish all we need to grow "in Him". Through this Women of Value blog, my prayers have been answered. A fresh bouquet of passionate, adventurous women have transparently and boldly opened up their hearts.. My short life has been an amazing search and rescue mission for Jesus, AMEN! Ask me about the time the FBI was called upon to keep me safe from Jimmy Hoffa and his dangerous thugs! Or the time I flat lined during surgery and God raised me back to life. As a young girl I was trained to keep family secrets. I worked hard to present myself as normal and acceptable. One very painful secret was that at the age of 15 my mother ushered me into a private hospital to give birth to a daughter I have named Andrea Marie. The entire outside-of-marriage-pregnancy-and-birth was covered up with trips to a convent for counseling. The nurse put a blanket over my eyes and my first born child was removed from my body never to be seen by me. My mother admonished "we will never speak of this again." Hushed into secrecy, guilt consumed my soul. Tearful torments filled my nights as I longed to know what family adopted Andrea. As a group leader for a Christian based recovery program, I have learned that very few have escaped childhood without a scar. My mother
concocted the lie that I was to tell. "I had enough credits so I opted to skip the first half of my senior year so I would not miss out on all the fun senior activities." Truth is I was tutored at home during my shame filled pregnancy. With my secret secure, right out of high school I worked for JC Penny, then I served the public as a teller for a bank. I married the father of my first born when I was 19. Our second child was named Jason. There are too many short stints and twists in my journey to itemize, but looking back, I SEE Jesus ever with me and I would not change a thing! My college education was obtained through a series of life and work related hard lessons. 2006 was a hard year while I recovered from a brain anyuresm, my father and ex husband died. After fallung to the floor at work temporarily paralyzed, I bled internally from a VAD and was rushed to UC Davis Hospital. The medical community reported I should be dead or paralyzed. My heavenly Father had other plans for me. There are more marvelous blessings than tragedies! I participated in the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul, Korea as an Ambassador of Goodwill for the USA. By the grace of God I thrived as a divorced woman for over 30 years until I met Mike, a retired pastor. After six months of dating, we bravely tied the knot! Obediently, I surrendered my plans to move to Mexico alone and volunteer to marry Michael Hoyle on November 17, 2012.
Then, as it happens, in March of 2016 my mom died, and in April 2016 my only son Jason died. Hope for other mom's
Grieving a child God has His plan for all of us and He never gives us more than we can handle ALONE. God knows our past, present and future. I praise God for His ways, and His perfect timing! My heavenly Father knows best and I needed a man of faith to lean on after I retired in December 2014. My job working for the police department was extremely stressful. I love living in Mexico and through this blog I hope to connect deeply with Women of Faith. Words cannot contain my gratitude for all that God has done in me and for me. My full disclosure testimony is on this post written right after retiring.
Denial and Surrender to Jesus. My hard learned life lesson is that when I face hard situations, that I seek my Father's counsel and trust Him. Historically I can see countless times that I would have been way better off had I sought the counsel of God first before jumping out on a whim! My prayer:
“Lord, help me with how to respond to the person you lead me
to talk to this day. Help me to observe You in every situation and give me
words to speak, or just poke me in my spirit when I am to just listen and say
nothing. Holy Spirit, I proclaim You as my most reliable and loving counselor. Help me hear Your voice, and
embrace Your comfort whenever in need. I
trust You as the Driver and it is my privilege to allow You to lead me. My miserable
failures and goofy choices continue to humble me as experience reminds me to
trust God and seek His counsel first. God has placed a few awesome friends in
my life who are bold enough to speak the truth in love. No advice will ever compare, however, to the
Spirit of God speaking directly to me. This is why Jesus told His disciples
that it was better that He go away to make way for the one coming after Him
(John 16:7). In our moments of desperation, He is with us, but He will only
come when He is called upon. He will
speak when we are willing to listen and obey His direction." To God be ALL the GLORY for the massive amount of unwasted grace He poured into me. God bless all who have contributed by their brave willingness to be interviewed. YOU ARE APPRECIATED!!!! and VALUED!!!!
